Good day, to all.
Today, I have things on my heart. We approach the celebration of the new year, and though I intend to stay warm by the fire, tea in my hands, warms socks, and my love by my side, staring out at the cedar trees, I still hope for things to come in the new year. For opportunities, changes and blessings.
My soul has always longed for many unusual things. I require the presence of the trees just to simply function, and I’ve always longed for exploration, for places I’ve never been, for travel. Above all, i have forever longed to visit Ireland.
My maternal family is from Ireland beginning a few generations before my own. And the stories I’ve heard have resonated with me throughout my whole life. The hills, the forests, the Faerie rings. The stone cottages and homely Irish pubs. It’s forever been the top of my travel to-do list, but has somehow always been pushed aside for some life happening or another. I love a simple life. Taking joy in the cozy home atmosphere, enjoying the company of locals and small town life. I grew up playing on my grandfather’s farm, and enjoyed the presence of the animals and the slow life of childhood on the farm. I’d choose a night at my favourite pub with good food and my favourite beer, or a night at home with my love and a book by the fire, accompanied by tea or a beer, before I’d ever choose a night on the town, a busy city-style life. Going always, rushing always. I admire the slow life, and the slow life on an Irish countryside is my heart’s desire.
Perhaps it’s the coming of the new year. Perhaps it’s that my love and I are experiencing some major things in our lives, or perhaps it’s that my love and I are getting married in the coming summer, and a honeymoon is a beautiful excuse to travel. But whatever the reason may be, I find myself longing for Ireland more than ever. Dreaming of sitting in a pub, side by side with my dearest love, talking about the joys of the day. Touring a castle, visiting a library, trying the local foods (However I’ve heard it rumored that it’s hard to be a vegetarian tourist in Ireland, apparently most restaurants serve primarily local meats. I know not) I fantasize about staying in a sweet B’n’B, or talking to locals at the market. I spend my time looking at flight costs for the time in which we’d be traveling. Or making lists of where I’d love to go.
For whatever reason, this ache has been in my heart since the earliest days of girlhood. And has stayed a burning passion into my adult life. And I feel as though it is a craving that will only be satisfied by spending my time on the Irish hills.
It’s strange to feel as though your heart belongs somewhere else. The culture of my homeland is not at all the culture of my heart. And though I’ve forever been unusual and rarely meet people I can be my true self with, it still gets exhausting. I love many humans. And though I find, despite my oddities, I get along well with many, I deeply connect with few. And perhaps it is my mind simply creating a “grass is greener” scenario, but I feel as though my heart calls me home. To a place where my connections will be deeper. If not with the humans, than certainly with Mother Earth.
I am eternally grateful, as my love feels the same callings. He feels the deep need to travel through Ireland, and Scotland. And he longs to hold my hand as we walk through their streets. And he feels deeply unusual as well, we bond over many things. And I have him as my true best friend. Maybe, we just need to satisfy the craving, and we will realise where or home truly is. Whether it be here or not.
Is it unusual to ache and long so deeply for a place I’ve never seen? For air I’ve never breathed, and hills I’ve never stood upon? Have any of you felt this?
I have no idea what our year will bring. What our marriage will hold for these two unusual fae folk, living in a hectic modern world. But I choose to take the opportunities as blessings and strengths. We shall find joy, and peace.
May you all have a blessed New Year, and may you feel immense joy and blessings as the season of celebrations comes to a close.